Whether the Weather Weathers

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
- Lao Tsu

As you navigate Lawrenceville, what types of comments do students make about our school? “The weather is awful today.” “My teacher is such a harsh grader.” “It’s too cold outside.” “Lawrenceville has millions of dollars in endowed funds; why waste money on this instead of that?” From serious concerns to minor annoyances, we exchange our frustrations whenever possible, bonding over our shared dissatisfaction.  Most of us can recall the last time someone said “I hate Lawrenceville” or the social media posts lamenting the end of break with the caption “back to hellville.” While many school issues are thoughtfully addressed by students who communicate their concerns to the administration, many complaints merely serve as conversation-starters. Why shouldn’t we assert we’ve never been more tired, if we know those at the duty desk or in the common room will loudly agree, “me too!”? Cynicism has polluted our social fabric—it’s what our humor flows from. The Lawrence asks you to retain at least a little perspective the next time you make a joke; while these habits seem harmless, pessimism truly does shape our experiences.We rarely reconsider voicing our exhaustion, since we expect others to agree. However, in this chorus of complaints, we risk imposing a stigma against happiness.

Eventually, we become subconsciously dismissive of joy on campus. Delightful memories fade away quicker than the dreadful ones; we remember the awkward social gaffes, but not the people who smiled at us in the hallway. The effect of pessimism is especially powerful for new students; with each new generation learning  to “hate” Lawrenceville at an earlier and earlier stage each year, long before they can write this new chapter of their lives for themselves. While formal student leaders such as StuCo, House Council members, and Prefects are expected to be role models for their Houses and the community at large, does this mean the rest of the community is relieved from the responsibility of cultivating positive campus culture? It should not: the way any Form acts influences the students younger than them. The way we act between classes, sports, and our daily activities—avoiding eye contact on the paths, speaking only to our friends—determines how people interact with us. “Watch your words…they become your habits.” 

Our advice? “Watch your thoughts…they become your destiny.” Though negativity accumulates in our day-to-day lives, positivity can as well. We cannot control our circumstances, but we can control how much energy we devote to complaints. We see glimpses of happiness when the sky delivers beams of sun and warmth on campus—might we extend the uplifting spirit to the upcoming days of winter? “It’s really warm outside.” “It’s a nice sweater season.” “The squirrels are very cute.” “I had fun spending time with my friends today.” Notably, a chain of positivity can start anywhere. Make no mistake: while we commend sweeping initiatives and changes in daily life, miniscule acts of kindness or moments of gratitude matter just as much. You could start taking pictures of flowers or holding the doors open for others. You might start sharing positive things you notice throughout the day to spread this feeling around campus. Express gratitude to your peers, faculty and staff who keep this school running. Buy into the school events and allow yourself to encounter the unexpected joys of everyday life. 

Grounding ourselves in the positive aspects of life is not hard to come by. For example:  The flowers celebrate the nice weather all over campus. The autumn colors have started to arrive on the trees! A trick to survive the coming days: sunny weather is good weather, windy and cold days indicate a good sweater season, and rainy days provide you with calming background music for meditation or studying—and a perfect occasion to drink hot chocolate wrapped in a cozy blanket. 

“Watch your actions, they become your character.” The character of Lawrenceville is ultimately shaped by us, the members of the community—not our accomplishments, but by the overall culture and character of care and kindness we construct through our daily actions. The extensive warmth across the campus will get us through the cold and dark winters of Lawrenceville, and every single member of the community must take part in the support in order for the extensiveness to be sufficient and sustainable. Small acts of kindness build the backbone of a healthy community. So, steer away from the trap of negativity and invest in positivity! Afterall, your positive thoughts and actions ultimately shape the destiny of Lawrenceville.