Build Connections, Not Cliques

The Circle and Crescent are staples of campus life at Lawrenceville; residential events like House Olympics and structured House time adds a familial essence to the Lawrenceville experience as students are away from home. As someone who came from a relatively small school with a graduating class of 24 people, I had never experienced any cliques in middle school. When I came to Lawrenceville freshman year, I expected the freshman class to be just like my previous school: a tight-knit class of 150 people. While the orientation period seemed to promote tight bonds like I’d hoped, I soon discovered that that was because the majority of II Formers didn’t know each other and thus were scrambling to settle into a friend group. In spite of my dreams of friendship, we were not going to transform into one perfect community that week, or even that year. 

By mid-October, the Lower School had undergone a transformation; their House culture had shifted. Both Dawes and Raymond lacked a cohesive sense of community. Yes, we still had Cookies and Convo, Level, and House events, but even the ambiance around those had shifted. Technically, three steps inside a House hallway can take you to someone else's door—this physical proximity might make you believe that freshmen have more opportunities for spontaneous hangouts which lead to deeper connections between the entire grade, compared to Circle and Crescent houses which split your grade into many groups. 

This switch in the House, turning our Fall-term attempts at reaching out into a closed-off culture, is a product of identity-related divides that clumped kids together based on shared traits like sports or ethnicity. As friend groups around me solidified, I saw them become less diverse. I saw groups composed entirely of male lacrosse players as well as cliques where every member was of the same race. I wouldn’t call these cliques bad if cross-group friendships were common; however, at the peak of the Bowl Cliques, it was unheard of to hang out with other groups. Whenever you spent time in the Bowl, the unspoken rule was that you were with your clique. Individual-to-individual connection outside these clique boundaries was normal, but clique-to-clique contact almost never occurred in the Bowl. Consider the effect this had on people who didn’t fit into these main cliques, or any subgroups at all. 

Now in my sophomore year, I don’t think these cliques matter as much, as Crescent and Circle housing builds spaces for sophomores to bond with the rest of the house. Being physically separated from your former group encourages you to embrace your House sisters and brothers instead. I live on campus, and the spirit and pride I have for my House will never fade. Through Cookies and Convo talks with my prefects, House meetings where we sing a special birthday song, and stay up late talking together in the common room no matter the friend group, my House has become the place I call home, more than I ever felt in II Form housing. I can confidently say I have interacted meaningfully with every girl in my house. Luckily, I have found that the Circle and Crescent system does promote a community that allows you to make new friends as well as keep the old.